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Accidental Marriage 2

Fanfiction: Accidental Marriage
Pairing: RoyEd
Genre: Drama/Humor
Rating: PG13
Chapter Rating: PG
Word Count: 1,575
Warning: Eventually I'm going to go back and rework these first two chapters.
Summary:Sometimes a joke can go a little too far. But when emotions also get caught up into the mix, how will our two favorite alchemist handle this?
Standard Disclaimer applies

The Colonel was always, cool, composed and smug. Of course that’s what Edward hated about him, but that’s what he was. So to see him loose his composer like that freaked Edward out more then he thought it would. Probably because he had a feeling this also had something to do with him. He reached over the desk and plucked the paper out of the stuttering Colonels hands, it didn’t look like he was planning on giving it to Edward any time soon, and quickly scanned it over. What is he freaking out about? It’s only a….wait, back up here. “You have got to be fucking kidding me!” Edward yelled. “No way can I be…er…with him!” He couldn’t get himself to say that world. You know that word.


Edward’s voice snapped Roy out of his stupor and he slammed his hands down flat on his desk gaining both of the blondes’ attentions. “We’re going to fix this immediately.” He growled. He marched over to the coat rack by his coat then grabbed Edward’s arm dragging him behind him. Ed was still holding on to the license as he was dragged out by Roy. If either of them had been paying attention to what was going on around them rather then panicking, they would have heard the snickering of the other occupants of the room.

Havoc grinned around his ever present cigarette. “I suggest we all get out of here before Roy and Ed find out that it’s a fake.” The master mind behind the plan said. Everyone else nodded in agreement, they were not eager to deal with a pissed off Flame and Fullmetal Alchemist. Of course who would be?

Neither Alchemist spoke to one anther as they marched through the snow. Clearly they were both upset by this…problem. A problem they both seemed to have found themselves in. They head straight to a large building that’s design was obviously influenced by Greek designs. Edward wanted to look at the building a little more but Roy wouldn’t slow down, instead started up the large steps to get to the entrance. The steps were those annoying kind where they were longer so you couldn’t just climb them, you had to take a step up, two steps over and then another step up. Not only that but there were so many of them!

When they finally cleared the stairs they entered the large building. It was quiet like a museum or a funeral house, and it was so clean. Like even dust was afraid to enter the building least it be convicted and sentenced for something. A pretty brunette was sitting behind an oval help desk seeming to be busy. Her long brown hair was tied back in a smart pony tail. Her head bent over some papers that she was working on. “Stay here.” Roy told his blonde companion. He made his way to the desk and leaned on the high counter, his elbow resting on it. “Hello there.” He gave her his charming smile.

The young lady looked up her brown eyes partially hidden by glasses saw a very dashing man in front of her. Her cheeks stained a rosy color but she managed to keep her voice steady, “Can I help you sir?” She asked.

Roy nodded his head, “I’m having some problems with a legal document, and I’m in hopes to be able to speak to a judge about it.”

“I’m sorry sir, but all the judges are busy at the moment.” She said, the sentence coming out with practiced ease.

Roy leaned over the counter a little closer. “I’m sure not all the judges are. It’ll be quick I promise.” He said. Edward just rolled his eyes from where he was. He didn’t care how the bastard got them out of this mess as long as he did. He shivered a bit even though it was warm in the building. Perhaps it was because his pants were wet to mid calf and was currently making a puddle around his feet. Roy also had a bit of a puddle going but his pant legs were not as wet, since he was taller.

The girl blushed only deepened and she nodded her head before picking up the phone. She spoke quietly into it then hung up the receiver. “Judge Day will see you now. He doesn’t have much time, he’s about to go home.” She said.

“Thank you very much. You have been a great help.” He told her. She look bit her bottom lip and looked down shyly. “Just go to the sixth door on your left.” She instructed.

Roy nodded and waved the blonde over. Edward followed him, not wanting to argue right now, he could argue with him, when he wasn’t….yeah with him.

They entered into the room they were instructed to enter. Roy pushed the heavy doors open and let it fall back at Edward. Edward caught the door and grumbled a bit to himself. This place was just as clean as out in the lobby. Everything was made from monogyny wood that was well taken care of. The seats all had cushions on them. There was a painting of an elderly man with the name Judge Devin Day underneath it near the Judge’s seat. In front of the judge’s seat down on the lower floor there was a table. A man with thinning white hair sat at the table, hunched over a bit, you could almost see the boulder strapped to his back. He looked up at the intrusion. He startling blue eyes seemed to have sunken within the mass of wrinkles. The glasses perched on his nose magnified his small eyes, giving him a sort of alien look to him. Roy sat down on one of the seats across from the aged man, Edward falling into the next one, his arms crossing over his chest.

Roy had managed to acquire the license from Edward out in the halls and slid it over to the Judge. “Sir, my name is Colonel Roy Mustang and this is Major Edward Elric.” He introduced them to him. “As you can see, we have a small problem we would like corrected.”

The old judge slowly picked up the paper and moved his head a bit till he found an angle that he liked and started to read over. He coughed a bit before speaking. “Ah, yes, I can see the problem.” He reached over to one of the drawers and pulled out some papers and pen. “If you two could sign here.” He pointed to the end of the page. Roy took the pen and didn’t hesitate to do so, wanting this problem fixed as quickly as possible. He passed the pen to Edward who signed it as well. The judge took it and looked over it again, he nodded his head then passed another paper to Edward, “And if you could sign here.” Ed thought it was funny that he had to sign something extra but didn’t put much thought into it. He scratched his name quickly. The judge looked over that paper too, before signing them both himself. He then got up and shook both of their hands. “Mr. and Mr. Mustang. It was a pleasure.” He said as he hurried to gather his stuff. “I must be off though. Congratulations.” He said before making his escape.

Roy and Edward sat there dumb founded. Mr. and Mr. Mustang? What was he talking about? Ed turned to Roy as if expecting him to have the answer though not so sure he wanted to know what it was. The brunette came into the room and smiled at them and hand them some papers. “Here’s a copy of the legal marriage license, and the name change. Remember you’ll have to change everything over to your new name.” She said speaking to Edward. “Anything with your previous name will no longer be good. Congratulations both of you.” She turned to leave.

“Wait, that other document, the one we came in here with.” Roy started.

“Was fake yes, if you find out who gave that to you, please give us a call so we can take care of the situation.” She said and then continued on.

“It…was fake?” Roy repeated. Suddenly everything clicked in both of their heads. The one they came in here was a fake marriage license, the one they had in their hands with both of their names on it was the real thing, signed in front of a judge. The faced each other and stared before both yelled, “Holy Shit!”


ROFLMAO!! Mr and Mr Mustang!! XDDDDD OMG that was hilarious!! I can't wait to see what they're gonna do about actually being married now! Roy now has that 'wife' Maes was always nagging him to get! :D Havoc might wanna go AWOL for at least a week! Once Roy gets ahold of him, he's a dead man! XDDD
Yes, he does, but I don't think Ed was who Maes was thinking of when he was telling me to get a wife. Havoc, he might as well just kiss his own ass goodbye. Unlike Fullmetal, the flame alchemist doesn't need to be close to you to kill you. Of course the whole office was in on it.
Poor boys indeed. I feel a bit bad for them. I mean, could you imagin being in their shoes? It would rather strange I think.
That's great!!!! LOL!
I'm glad you liked it. It's good that it made you laugh, it's what I was aiming for.
LOL! Oh, I've read this one in FFNEt but it always amuse me XDDD

Great work o/
Thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it on there and still do so. I'm glad it's a story that people can read again and still find amusment in it. ^^